Our defense mechanism when it comes to protecting our pride gives me wonders; absolute wonders. It comes up with excuse after excuse after excuse to convince ourselves we are in the right. Logic up the whazoo ( I don’t know if it’s even a word in a dictionary).
And in some cases, we just might be in the right. But in some, we might not. Here’s how to tell. If you find the defense mechanism going WAY overboard to the point where it seems to be pulling everything out, every last morsel and scrap of logical defense, it might be a sign that something’s not right.
No rule of thumb here other than you get the feeling that the logical arguments your defense mechanism comes up with are hollow at best and carry no weight. In other words, deep down inside, you know. And it’s so, so, so damn hard to admit that you are in the wrong. And the longer you keep on being stubborn in that respect, you find yourself coming head on with disaster.
Pride’s a funny thing. It has a way of just making the next couple of steps we take go downhill automatically. So right there, we discussed two things you can do to swallow your pride and admit to yourself that you might be in the wrong.
Seeing how the defense mechanisms is working to see if you might be in the wrong and getting outside from the present moment of defending yourself and seeing where this path you’re taking will carry you to get further confirmation.
When you see the future negative impact, you’re not going to like it so that will help give you some pause when you’re on your defense rampage.
So now what? Realize you’re imperfect. Give yourself permission to be wrong. It’s highly unlikely you’re going to right on every single issue in your lifetime. Really feel that and understand that. Allow yourself the possibility that you might be wrong. Feel the muscles in your body unclench as you do. Then, here’s the most crucial part. Focus on what’s right. Get outside yourself and your pride and focus on what’s right. Get that distance. Focus on what’s right and from there; you’ll know what the right thing to do is. Then focus on what the domino effect of that will be and when you see the pleasurable future, you’ll start to feel good about all this.
It’s a great learning experience and over time, you’ll come to the same conclusion that you’re always the better for it.
When you don't know something, ask about it. We weren't all born rocket scientists; we weren't meant to know everything about everything. Don't try to act smart when you are clueless about a subject, just say "I don't know what you mean, explain it to me like I'm a freaking 2-year-old." You'll look like more stupid when you try to fake your way around something you don't know.
When you need help then admit it. I know we'll never learn to ask for directions, but when you are in desperate times and you've exhausted all your resources, it's time to ask for a favor from a trusted friend.
When you are caught in a lie, admit your lie and don't dig yourself into a deeper hole with more lies. When someone is wiser than you, let them give you good advice. We all like to think we know it all and that we're sharks, but face it; you'll always be a pimple-faced kid even if you are 50 years old because there will always be someone out there who knows more than you. Shut up and take advice when someone knows more than you. My children are guilty of this sin. They talk when they should be listening. I spoil them, so I'm to blame also.
Pride causes rational men and women to do irrational things. Pride causes wars between countries, and wars between brothers. Pride is an unseen enemy because it is an enemy that lives in each of us, like an invisible curse. Learn to control your pride, and you'll avoid the same downfalls so many before you were doomed to go through.
Watch your backs and keep your noses clean.